Festival season is well and truly upon us. Whilst some legends allow alcohol, (big up Glasto), most are a little tight and it’s a big fat no. In response, people have created some ingenious, and some thick, ways to sneak it in. Because I’m sure 99% of the ones I’ve seen won’t actually work (and I have Covid so I’m bored), I’ve decided to test them. All to save you the embarrassment of getting it confiscated. Not that we condone breaking the rules obvs. Viva La Vodka.
First up the OG, rolling up a bottle in your sleeping bag. 4/10:
The only positive of this is you can take a big bottle. Its really heavy, really obvious and if someone checks you’ve just lost £20. Also, it’s difficult not to make it look lumpy. Try harder.
In a Tampon Box. 8/10:
This should be a crap hiding place, but I love it. It can take loads, and when you seal it back up it looks normal. The weight is obviously wrong but who’s really taking your tampon box out of your bag to judge that. Anyone questions you, just embarrass them. Most of the security are male, use it. ‘’ Its heavy because they’re super deluxe cotton fibre, phoenix feather infused and woven by the Weetabix grandmas, what do you expect?”
In a pringles tin. 3/10:
How a great has fallen. This looks great but its too well known. They will check the weight, sorry. Maybe try a snacker jack?
In a loaf of bread: 2/10
I don’t understand how anyone does this. No matter how much I tried you could see it? I’ve seen loads of videos of people putting a mini bottle in an actual sandwich which looks amazing, but I can’t get over having mayo, tomato or something equally as grim stuck to my bottle. If you do this, you’re a trooper.
In a makeup remover bottle. 10/10:
Elite. It’s a clear liquid so perfect for spirits and you can get varying size bottles. Totally inconspicuous, everyone’s going to have it.
Hand sanitiser bottle. 10/10:
Festival it covid friendly. You can get clear and opaque bottles and it hides the smell beautifully.
Soaked sweets: 2/10.
This is basically the same % as a fruit shoot. You’d need loads. However, does taste nice.